for xml path reverse??

just started playing with xml datatype, and I'm running into a performance issue...

I have to query an xml column which was populated by a 'for xml path' statement, and get the values back into relational tables...

select
DeletedData.value('(/row/ListingID)[1]','int')as ListingID,
DeletedData.value('(/row/ListingTypeID)[1]','int')as ListingTypeID, DeletedData.value('(/row/EventID)[1]','int')as EventID,
DeletedData.value('(/row/UserID)[1]','uniqueidentifier')as
etc.......
............
............
where DeletedData.value('(/row/ListingID)[1]','int')  = x

Performance slows down considerably as the number of values  retreived in the select increases which is understandable since it looks like it traverses for every value... 

Is there a way to do a 'for xml path' reverse into a table variable without explicitly retreiving every value?

thanks.